


Good Things

by piecrust



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Christmas Day Timeline, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24430144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piecrust/pseuds/piecrust
Summary: He Tian didn't mean to take Mo Guan Shan for granted.
Relationships: He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 409





	Good Things

It was the kindness that caught He Tian off guard.

For all that Mo Guan Shan professed to hate him, He Tian had never known the type of kindness Mo Guan Shan so easily gave out. It was warm and unexpected and took root under He Tian’s skin.

Case in point, Mo had let him stay over in his little storage unit, quietly lying down next to the cold wall and letting He Tian slide in next to him, his back warmed by the small heater on the floor.

“Don’t complain to me if you get cold,” Mo said, turning to face the wall.

“I’ll be okay,” He Tian teased, “you’re my little furnace.” He wrapped his arms around Mo’s waist and brought him close. He was warm.

“Shut the fuck up,” Mo growled, struggling against He Tian’s embrace for a bit before accepting his fate. He sighed and relaxed in He Tian’s arms. “If you wake me up, I’ll kill you, you chicken shit.”

He Tian watched him close his eyes, watched how those stupid long lashes of his – weirdly light like his hair – came down and seemed to graze the tops of his cheeks. It didn’t take long for Mo’s breath to even out. He always fell asleep so quickly – a lucky trait of idiots, He Tian had come to learn.

He Tian brought Mo closer to him and rested his head just above Mo’s, letting Mo’s shower wet hair tickle his nose. He Tian had spent the last three months in all sorts of luxurious hotels and fancy places, but nothing could compare to the contentment he felt in Mo’s shitty apartment, on his shitty mattress. He stroked Mo’s stomach absently, feeling lazy and comfortable for the first time in a while.

Mo had lost weight, he noticed. He stroked up and felt the knobby ribs sticking through. What sort of idiot lost weight while working in a restaurant? He Tian wondered, annoyed. He’d feed Mo tomorrow. Take him somewhere nice, with lots of meat. Make up for the time he’d been gone.

Sometime between thinking about his plans for Mo and admiring Mo’s sleeping face he must have fallen asleep, because between what seemed like one blink and the next, Mo was climbing over him.

“Mmn, where are you going?” He Tian asked, stretching sleepily.

Mo’s fingers grazed his bangs – a touch so light He Tian could have almost imagined it. “Go back to sleep, idiot,” Mo murmured. “It’s early.”

“Where are you going?” He Tian asked again, blinking slowly at Mo. He could feel the sticky arms of sleep pulling him back in.

“I don’t have to answer you,” Mo said sharply, not answering He Tian’s question, but he tempered it by throwing another blanket over He Tian. Replacing a little of the lost warmth. He Tian closed his eyes and sunk back to sleep. He thought he heard a soft “I’ll be back,” before the door opened and closed, but he wasn’t sure.

The room was light when He Tian woke up again, and he was alone.

He stretched the sleep out of his body and tossed the blankets off of him. It was cold in the room, even with the heater on. If He Tian was honest with himself, he hated that Mo lived there, in the shitty storage room with barely enough room for a bed and a desk and no central heating to speak of. It would be so easy for him to have Mo move into his apartment – empty half the time and about a million times nicer.

But he’d never tell Mo that.

He grabbed the toothbrush that he had left the last time he had stayed with Mo and a towel and walked down the hall to the communal bathroom.

Mo seemed to grow more distant from him every time He Tian left and came back. A sort of choking feeling came over He Tian at the thought of Mo and distance. There had been a time when the walls around Mo’s heart were lowered for He Tian alone, but lately they felt higher than before. He Tian felt himself tread more carefully around him, afraid that if he pushed too hard, Mo really might hide his heart away entirely.

The last time He Tian had seen Mo – three months ago – he hadn’t told Mo that he would be leaving but Mo had seemed to know anyway. Mo hadn’t asked – he never asked – but he’d looked at He Tian with those guarded eyes. They’d fucked slow and quiet that night in Mo’s storage room, and Mo hadn’t let He Tian sleep over.

“At least this way I’ll see you leave, chicken shit,” Mo had said gruffly, knowingly. And He Tian had been too surprised to fight Mo’s arms pushing him out the door.

He Tian brushed his teeth and did a quick sink wash of his hair and walked back to Mo’s room, towel drying his hair absently. Things had been so much simpler when they were younger, in school. Seeing Mo every day had been a given. His father hadn’t cared much what he did and neither did his brother.

Now that he was an adult, things had changed. His father had expectations. He’d lead a group of men, like He Cheng did, and they’d do the biddings of some mystery man. Not too complicated, really, mostly protection.

He Tian had accepted it at first because he didn’t really have shit else to do. He wasn’t going to some university – especially if Mo wasn’t going – and he had thought it would be a good way of showing Mo that he was hard working too. He hadn’t expected how much it would take him out of the country, but it was only because he didn't have enough seniority yet. A couple more years, or a couple more good jobs, and he’d be able to choose where he wanted to go - more importantly, where he wanted to stay.

He put on one of Mo’s shirts and put his jacket back on, not bothering with his scarf, thrown haphazardly over Mo’s desk chair. He’d grab a taxi to the restaurant where Mo worked. If Mo wasn’t there, at least he could pick up his car, he reasoned.

He walked out of Mo’s building and down a couple blocks to a busy street. It was easy, hailing a cab there. “Take me to main street, boss,” he said sliding into the busted leather seats.

Mo had looked at him with those same guarded eyes last night, He Tian remembered, looking out the window. It had made something in He Tian go cold. Forced him to hug Mo tight, so he would feel close.

He Tian couldn’t remember anymore what sort of confidence had made him so sure that Mo would always wait for him. All he remembered was that he had been sure that Mo would be there when he came back. Warm and angry and surprisingly kind.

Mo was still those things, still burned hotter than anyone He Tian knew. Still doled out that quiet kindness in ways that stuck with He Tian and kept him warm during those lonely jobs. But now there was a distance between him and Mo that He Tian couldn’t place his finger on. It made him antsy, worried. He Tian had once known all of Mo’s looks. Known what it meant when his scowl turned dark, knew when he was really angry and when he was just embarrassed just by looking at his face. Now there were looks that He Tian didn’t know – couldn’t understand. Dark glances that turned He Tian’s stomach. Blank expressions that looked too much like goodbye.

“We’re here,” the cabbie announced, breaking He Tian out of his reverie.

“Thanks,” He Tian said, handing him a red bill. “Merry Christmas.”

The cabbie’s delighted ‘Merry Christmas,’ followed him as he shut the door to the cab. He walked towards the back alley he had found Mo in last night.

The scene before him stopped him in his tracks.

Mo was smoking, sat on the railing… and he was talking to large man who stood in front of him… and he wasn’t scowling. If anything, his face looked as close to happy as He Tian had ever seen it. Mo passed the cigarette to the large man and He Tian felt his blood go cold.

“Little Mo!” he called out, pasting a smile on his face.

Mo turned to look at him and scowled. “What are you doing here?” he asked, “I told you I’d be back.”

“I missed you,” He Tian responded sweetly, swinging an arm over Mo’s shoulders. He looked at the man stood in front of Mo. He was tall – taller than even He Tian – and he was broad, thick shouldered with rough hands. He had a rather severe face, which He Tian guessed some might consider handsome. He Tian thought he looked like chicken shit.

“Introduce us,” He Tian said to Mo, smiling sunnily.

Mo looked at him strangely before standing up, shrugging off He Tian’s arm. “Da-ge, this is He Tian. If you ever see him on the streets, walk the other way because he means trouble.”

Da-ge? He Tian thought sharply. How affectionate.

This ‘Da-ge’ brought Mo’s cigarette to his lips and gave a little smirk, as if what Mo had said was funny. “Nice to meet you, He Tian,” he said, Mo’s cigarette still hanging off his lip. “I’m Xuezhang.”

He Tian smiled sunnily at him, but before he could respond, Mo interrupted, “Okay, now everyone knows each other. I’ll get going, Da-ge.”

“Good work today,” Xueshang said, patting Mo on his head affectionately.

The expression on Mo’s face was something He Tian had never seen before. Something quiet and pleased. He Tian hated Xueshang. He was already having fantasies of killing the fucking giant bastard.

Mo swatted at the giant hand on his head gently. “Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled, almost shyly, unaware of He Tian boiling beside him. He began walking out of the alley, towards the main street, pulling He Tian behind him.

“See you next year A-Shan!” Xueshang called out behind them.

“See you next year Da-ge!” He Tian responded back sunnily before Mo could, and dragged Mo onto the main street where the giant bastard couldn’t see him.

A-Shan? What the fuck type of nonsense was that, He Tian wondered.

“You two seem quite friendly, little Mo,” He Tian remarked glumly, “Did you wake up early for him?”

Mo looked at him strangely again, with the same eyes that He Tian couldn’t read anymore. “Don’t say weird shit,” he scowled. He brought up a plastic bag he had been holding. “Da-ge made us some food. Let’s eat at your place.”

“I don’t want to eat that giant’s food,” He Tian said petulantly. “Why don’t you cook for me, Little Mo?”

“Fine,” Mo said, walking ahead, “I’ll eat alone.”

“No,” He Tian quickly conceded, grabbing Mo’s hand, “let’s eat together.”

“Fuck off,” Mo said angrily, but he didn’t move his hand from He Tian’s so He Tian counted that as a win.

He Tian expected Mo to lead him to his moped, but Mo walked right to He Tian’s car. “How’d you know my car was here?” He Tian asked, surprised.

“There’s only one fucker I know who’d leave this nice of a car parked on a main street,” Mo grumbled, “It doesn't take a genius to figure out.”

“Obviously,” He Tian said snidely, smirking when Mo gave him the finger. He unlocked the doors and slid into his Italian leather seats. He watched Mo sit in the passenger seat, placing the plastic bag of food carefully between his legs.

“What about your moped?” He Tian asked.

“I walked to work this morning,” Mo answered, looking out the window.

“Why?”

“I kind of expected you to show up.”

It caught He Tian off guard, Mo’s answer. The honesty and the plain way Mo said it, as if it was a given that he knew everything about He Tian. He Tian didn’t know how he felt about that – how Mo seemed to still know him when Mo had become a mystery for He Tian.

“Have I become so obvious to Little Mo?” He Tian asked teasingly, trying to hide his shock.

“Shut up,” Mo replied. He leaned the seat back and laid back, his arms crossed. “Wake me up when we arrive.” Within two breaths he was softly snoring.

He Tian glanced at Mo’s sleeping face. He was scowling, even in his sleep. He remembered Mo’s face as he talked to Xueshang, the face Mo had made when Xueshang had complimented him, and he wanted to fucking crash the car. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Fuck that giant, he thought savagely. He wanted to kill him.

It made something twist in his stomach, the thought that someone was capable of causing Mo to make those sort of expressions. That Mo might be happy with someone else.

They had never said anything – never called each other boyfriends or lovers or any of that stupid shit – but He Tian had assumed they were exclusive. At least, Mo had never given He Tian any reason to think otherwise in all their years together. Sure, there had been boys and girls here and there who had made passes at Mo, enticed by the wild untouchability of him. The pale, leanness of him. But Mo had never even glanced their way. And… He Tian had never so much as thought of another person in any romantic or sexual way since he had met Mo.

He Tian felt something ugly and corrosive settle in his chest. If Mo was fucking the giant, He Tian would kill the giant. Or take Mo out of the country, away from the giant. Whatever.

His phone rang, startling him out of his murderous daydream.

“Hng,” he answered, not bothering to check the caller ID.

“He Tian!” An obnoxious voice chirped. Jian Yi. Only he could be so obnoxious with a name.

“What,” He Tian said, not really in the mood to deal with the man-child.

“I hear you’re back in the country,” Jian Yi said.

“Yeah, I am,” He Tian sighed, “What do you want.”

“You’ve become so cruel,” Jian Yi moaned, “It must be the redhead rubbing off on you. You used to at least pretend to be nice.”

“I’m going to hang up,” He Tian said.

“No, no, no!” Jian Yi objected, “I’m just kidding, you’re the nicest.”

He Tian sighed. He was almost to his apartment. He could park underground and end the call by losing signal.

“So if you’re in the country, I’m going over to your place with Xixi,” Jian Yi said, in that matter-of-fact way of his.

“Why?” He Tian asked, unable to help himself.

“I got really drunk last night and I’m hung over as shit,” Jian Yi said pitifully, “I need Mo’s cooking to revive me.”

He Tian huffed a laugh at that. “How do you know Mo will be at my place?”

“Please,” Jian Yi chortled, “If the redhead’s not at your place, you’re at his. So where should I go?”

Since when had he become so predictable, he wondered. “Come to mine,” he answered, “Bring your own ingredients, my place is empty.”

Jian Yi sighed, as if He Tian had asked him to save the world. “Fine,” he groaned, “See you in thirty.”

He Tian drove into his apartment’s underground parking and parked in his spot. It had been a while since he’d been to his apartment. He hadn’t bothered even going up before taking his car out to find Mo. He looked at the redhead still asleep next to him. He must be tired, He Tian thought faintly, his stomach still churning uncomfortably.

He stroked Mo’s hair, where the giant had patted it. At one point in time, He Tian could confidently say that he was the only one that Mo allowed such physical liberties. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Mo had seemed so… pleased at the giant’s touch.

 _Da-ge... A-Shan_ … He Tian sighed, scrubbing his face with both hands. Jealousy wasn’t an emotion he was familiar with – hadn’t really even had reason to feel it since She Li all those years ago.

He had thought he and Mo had an understanding. Now he was wondering if he had taken Mo’s easy acceptance of him for granted. He had been in the country for less than six months this whole year. Mo had had a lot of time alone… Or at least He Tian had assumed Mo had spent that time alone. Perhaps He Tian had been the only one spending their time apart alone.

He Tian felt an old, tingling nervousness creep up his spine. He didn’t want to be forgotten.

He looked at the redhead asleep next to him again. Maybe it was good Jian Yi and Zhengxi were coming over. He Tian didn’t trust himself alone with Mo Guan Shan right now. He felt that cold cruelty wash over him again – he was liable to do something he’d regret if left alone.

He reached over and pinched Mo’s nose together. One, two, three. Mo shot up with a gasp, slapping He Tian’s hand from his face. “What the fuck,” he breathed out, glaring at He Tian.

“We’re here,” He Tian smiled.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Mo grumbled, getting out of the car. He yawned and stretched and his shirt rode up showing a sliver of skin. He Tian’s eyes narrowed at the bruise on Mo’s hip.

“Jian Yi is coming over with Zhengxi,” He Tian ground out, instead of asking what he wanted to ask.

Mo scowled. “Why’s that troublesome guy coming over.”

He Tian smirked. He walked over to Mo and slipped his hand over the bruise he had seen. “They said they’d die if they couldn’t eat Mo’s cooking,” He Tian teased, burrowing his nose in red hair. Don’t forget me, he wanted to say. Don’t replace me.

“Bunch of deadbeats,” Mo grumbled.

Jian Yi was slouched against He Tian’s door, Zhengxi standing upright next to him, when they got to his apartment.

“He Tian!” Jian Yi exclaimed, “What a bad host you are, making your guests wait outside.”

“I don’t see any guests here,” He Tian remarked, giving Jian Yi the finger as he opened the door.

“Rude,” Jian Yi pouted, “We brought so much food, but we won’t share if you’re mean.”

“Then Little Mo won’t cook for you,” He Tian answered back.

“Don’t speak for me, idiot,” Mo scowled, “I decide who I cook for.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Jian Yi said, ignoring Mo’s grumblings. Jian Yi placed the bags of groceries on He Tian’s counter. “Redhead, feed us! Xixi was too rough on me last night and I’m about to faint without sustenance.”

Zhengxi smacked Jian Yi upside the head. “Shut up, idiot,” he said in that calm way of his, “This idiot drank too much at my class reunion last night and caused me so much trouble.”

Jian Yi grinned bashfully, “But Zhan Xixi took good care of me anyway.”

Zhengxi gave Jian Yi a quiet look – something He Tian could never read – and sat at the table.

Mo placed his plastic bag from the giant on the table in front of Zhengxi. “One of the chefs where I work made this for us,” he said, “You guys can get started eating it.”

Jian Yi ran to the table and opened the bag and the containers. He picked the food with his hands, like the savage he was, and stuffed it into his mouth. “So good!” he exclaimed.

He Tian moved to sit at the table as well. He picked a noodle up with his hands and ate it – Jian Yi was a savage, but He Tian was no different. It was okay, he thought begrudgingly. Okay for a giant Mo stealing bastard.

Zhengxi, always the most civilized of their group, got up and brought over plates and utensils. “It’s really good,” he noted between clean bites of food.

He Tian watched Mo cook in the kitchen. He felt his stomach twist again.

“Mo wasn’t telling the truth,” he said snidely. He knew he would regret what came out of his mouth, but he couldn’t stop himself. “It wasn’t just some chef that made this, his boyfriend made this for us.”

Mo stopped chopping and looked up sharply at He Tian.

“Isn’t that you?” Jian Yi asked dumbly.

“No,” He Tian smirked, eyes not leaving Mo’s, “There’s some stupid giant that Mo’s in love with over at that restaurant.”

“What!?” Jian Yi exclaimed, forever unable to read the mood, “Mo’s cheating on you?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Mo growled out, “He’s not someone you should talk about so freely.”

He Tian felt a thrum of anger course through him at Mo’s response. “Why?” he asked, a familiar cruel smirk taking place on his face. “Is ‘Da-ge’ off limits because you’re fucking him?”

The knife clattered on the cutting board. “Shut the fuck up, He Tian,” Mo warned, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He Tian stood up abruptly, his anger bubbling over into something cold and sharp. “Why?” he asked harshly, “You’re not going to deny it?”

Mo looked at him strangely, with those same guarded eyes that He Tian couldn’t read anymore. He Tian expected something to be thrown at him, food, a knife, maybe fists, but nothing came. After a long pause, Mo just grabbed the knife again and resumed chopping. It made He Tian go cold. When had Mo become so unreadable – so unreachable.

He Tian’s fists were so tightly wound that they were shaking. “Answer me, Mo,” he said darkly.

“You don’t get to ask that,” Mo responded quietly, “You don’t get to talk about Xueshang like that.”

“Fuck that,” he growled out, “Answer me.” He Tian knocked the bags separating him and Mo from the counter. It was always violence with him, he thought faintly. The last thing he still understood. Produce splattered on the floor.

The violence seemed to stir something in Mo. He placed the knife down on the counter and met He Tian’s eyes. “You don’t get to ask those things, you dumb fuck,” he growled out, with the same dangerous tone He Tian had used. “People who are gone half the year don’t get to come back and demand answers.”

He Tian felt like cold water had been splashed all over him. His chest felt tight – he thought maybe his heart had stopped.

“You think I’m Zhan Zhengxi?” Mo continued darkly, “That you can leave and come back whenever and I’ll welcome you with open arms?” Mo huffed a laugh at that, a sarcastic, mean thing. “I’m not that nice or that understanding.”

He Tian thought he was shaking. His heart beat pounded in his ears. “You never said anything,” he said weakly.

“What is there to say, you fucking idiot?” Mo asked sharply, “You’ve made your choice plenty of times. It doesn’t take a genius to realize where I am in your priority list.”

“That’s not fair!” Jian Yi cried softly behind him, “You know He Tian –“

“Shut up,” Mo said, cutting him off, “What do you know? You weren’t even there to see what Zhengxi was like when you disappeared.”

Jian Yi blanched at that.

Mo huffed a mean laugh at Jian Yi’s shocked face. “What? Did you think Zhengxi was just accepting of you being gone? You don’t think you disappearing like that hurt him at all?”

“Mo,” Zhengxi said, standing up.

“No, you shut up too,” Mo said. “We’re not teenagers anymore and I’m not going to become like one of those adults we grew up with. Them with their stupid secrets and lies, and running away all the fucking time.” Mo’s voice rose as he spoke, and He Tian could see how tight his fists were clenched – his knuckles white. “I’m going to be fucking honest. An honest to god fucking adult.”

“I’m here!” Mo continued, and there was something desperate about the way he said it. “I’m always fucking here, and I can’t always be waiting all the fucking time.” He looked at He Tian, and his eyes were dark and serious.

“I deserve some good in my life,” Mo said, and He Tian couldn’t tell if he was telling them or trying to convince himself. “I can’t have the only good thing in my life be some fucking asshole that comes and goes as he pleases. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life waiting to be chosen.”

The apartment was silent for a long while. The pot bubbling on the stove the only sound.

“Mo…” He Tian said hoarsely, breaking the silence.

Mo looked away from him. “My dad died two months ago,” he said quietly, “Da-ge was the one who went with me to pick up his body, the only person who stood with me at the funeral.” Mo picked up his jacket, rubbing the back of his head in annoyance. “So you don’t get to ask questions, He Tian, and you don’t get to talk about him like that.”

With that Mo walked out of He Tian’s apartment.

He Tian felt himself slowly sink back into his chair, his legs giving out on him. Mo’s dad had died? How had He Tian not known? Sure he had been busy… but too busy to hear news as big as that? What else had He Tian missed? What else had Mo shouldered alone?

He Tian remembered how he had once promised Mo that he wouldn’t have to shoulder everything alone. But when had that changed?

He saw Zhengxi sit back down from the corner of his eye.

“Well?” Zhengxi said after a while, “Are you just going to accept it?”

He Tian turned to Zhengxi. “What?” he asked dumbly.

“Are you just going to accept it?” Zhengxi asked again calmly, “Mo’s right – he does deserve good things – I think we all do at this point.” Zhengxi paused then, and he looked He Tian right in the eye, his gaze as serious as ever. “Mo said you’re one of his good things… Or at least you were. Are you going to accept that you’re no longer one of them?”

He Tian clenched his fists. He had forced his way into Mo’s life. Torn down those walls brick by brick and made himself a home in Mo’s chest. He wouldn’t be so easily usurped by some giant asshole. “Fuck no,” he said, standing up. His chair clattered behind him, but he didn’t give a fuck. He ran out of his apartment – he wasn’t going to leave Mo alone any longer.

He Tian had to run five blocks before he caught sight of Mo, fast walking mother fucker. The red hair bobbed down the street. He pulled Mo’s shoulder and slammed him against the wall.

“What the fuck,” Mo exclaimed angrily, “Get off me you chicken shit.”

He Tian ignored the hands fighting him and held him against the wall, trying to catch his breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked between gasps.

Mo scowled up at him. His eyes were rimmed red He Tian realized. “Like it would have mattered,” Mo muttered.

“It would have,” He Tian replied. “I would have come back.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Mo muttered absently, “Guess we’ll never know.”

“I would have,” He Tian repeated, tightening his grip on Mo’s shoulders. “You’re my first priority.”

Mo laughed at that, something harsh and mean. “Yeah, okay, He Tian,” he said sarcastically, “First priority in bed or something right?”

He Tian felt that twist in his gut again.

“You know that’s not true,” He Tian whispered.

“I thought I knew once,” Mo Tian said back, averting his eyes from He Tian’s. “Lately, I’m not so sure.”

Mo’s words felt like a punch to the gut. Maybe He Tian had been selfish, he thought. Taken Mo’s understanding for granted. Taken Mo’s kindness for granted. Taken Mo for granted. Assumed he would always be there when He Tian came back.

“Look at me,” He Tian said, his voice coming out oddly thick. Mo looked at him and his eyes were guarded again. “You’re my first priority,” He Tian repeated, “Never doubt that.”

He Tian released his grip on Mo’s shoulders and pulled Mo into an embrace, smooshing his face into Mo’s hair. He breathed in Mo’s scent. “You’re right, we aren’t teenagers anymore. Being with you as adults is different, I’m coming to realize. I know I fucked up, but... don’t abandon me.” He felt Mo relax incrementally in his arms. “Give me another chance.”

He felt Mo’s arms come around him with a sigh. “You say some chicken dick shit,” Mo said, but his voice was thick too.

“Tell me next time,” He Tian sighed into Mo’s hair, “If I’m being an asshole – let me know. Don’t just suffer silently like some princess.”

“Fuck you,” Mo said, pushing He Tian away. “You’re always an asshole.” Mo started walking, but it was back towards He Tian’s apartment. He Tian could recognize forgiveness when he saw it.

He Tian caught up to Mo and swung his arm around Mo’s shoulders, drawing him in close. Mo felt close to him for the first time in a while. “I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing his cheek on Mo’s head. “I’ll be better.”

“Yeah whatever, asshole,” Mo scowled, his cheeks a delicious shade of red. How long had it been since He Tian had seen that color.

They walked in silence for a while, Mo a long line of heat against He Tian’s side. “It’s not like that,” Mo said suddenly, breaking the silence. “Me and Da-ge.” He paused, tilting his head down, away from He Tian. “You’re still my only…” He trailed off. He Tian could see how red his ears were.

The lingering tightness around He Tian’s chest disappeared with Mo’s words. He bent down and captured Mo’s lips in a quick kiss. “Mo, Mo, Mo,” He Tian repeated, unable to stop the smile on his lips. “Mo, you’re so good to me, Mo.”

Mo’s face was bright red. “Shut up you fucker!” he scowled, swatting at He Tian’s face weakly.

He Tian kissed him again, feeling light for the first time in months. “Mo,” he sang, “I’ll be good, Mo, I’ll be good!” He lifted Mo off the ground and spun around. He couldn’t help it. His happiness couldn’t be contained in his body.

It took a while to get back to He Tian’s apartment because He Tian couldn’t stop stealing kisses, but Jian Yi and Zhengxi were still in the apartment when they made it back inside.

“Took you guys long enough,” Jian Yi sniffed. His eyes were red and puffy, but Zhengxi was holding him, so He Tian thought it couldn’t be too bad.

“You fuckheads could have turned off the stove,” Mo growled, running over to the still boiling pot.

“We didn’t want to mess with genius,” Jian Yi sighed, flopping childishly deeper into Zhengxi’s embrace. “Your Da-ge’s food wasn’t enough, redhead. Feed us.”

Mo added more water to the pot and resumed chopping whatever he had been working on when he walked out. “Yeah, yeah, you good for nothings.”

He Tian watched Mo cook. The deftness of his hands, the unexpected patience he showed while cooking. He was always so diligent when he was focused. Careful and hardworking. He Tian never wanted to lose this, he realized. Never wanted to take it for granted again.

“Stop staring at me,” Mo whispered. The tops of his ears were bright red.

“I can’t help it,” He Tian whispered back, smiling – a real smile this time. He’d call his brother tomorrow, tell him that he wasn’t leaving the country again. He didn’t give a fuck what his brother thought or what his father thought. If they didn’t let him stay next to Mo, well, there were always other jobs.

He Tian reached over and placed a hand over Mo’s, stopping whatever Mo was doing. “Move in with me,” he said.

“No,” Mo scowled, brushing off He Tian’s hand. “You’re not even here half the time anyway. I don’t want to be in this huge apartment alone.”

“I’ll be here,” He Tian said. “I’m not going to leave anymore.”

Mo looked up at him, his eyes searching. “Well, I guess I can think about it,” Mo said eventually, turning around to add more things to the pot.

And it was the kindness that always caught He Tian off guard.

The easy way Mo forgave him and trusted him.

He Tian had left without word a dozen times this past year. It would have been too much for anyone. He Tian remembered what Zhengxi had been like when Jian Yi had disappeared. The dead eyes, the listlessness, the loneliness. Zhengxi had seemed so far away then – somehow even further away than Jian Yi – lost in his despair.

He Tian’s chest ached at the thought that he might have caused Mo such pain. And still… Mo had forgiven him, let him back in. He Tian’s eyes stung at that.

He Tian couldn’t help himself. He stood up and walked behind Mo and hugged him, resting his head on the crook of Mo’s neck. “I love you, Mo Guan Shan,” he said softly.

Mo’s stirring of the pot stuttered for a split second before smoothing out again. Mo didn’t respond to He Tian’s words, but he took one of He Tian’s hands in his and squeezed and that was enough for He Tian.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to finish something. Also, Xueshang is the Xueshang (upperclassman) from 'Their Story' lol.
> 
> https://sincerelystranger.tumblr.com/


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